My Accidental Beauty

June 2008---I just had to post pics of my "accidental hair style". I was trying to mimick a hair style my son uses (he has a slight variation of Brothalocks), and "WHA-LA!" I think it turned out pretty good.

I've been working out these past two months (gotta keep up with you young folk) and really needed something that would be kept out of my face and off of the back of my neck.

Guess who's back in school? Yep, I did it. I going for my second master's degree with plans to pursue both the Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (LMFT) and Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) certification. I need many prayers and kudos; as it will be out of my pocket and hard to climb back on the horse!!!! Muuuuaaah-I love my Sisterlocks and my chosen family!

The Charming 3's

Freshly Colored and Retightened

Hair tied up in Ponytail

"Bedtime Barbie" No time for Glamour

Taken Before Color & Retightening

"Happy Sisterlocks Anniversary/Birthday!"

3 Charming Years

Where has the time gone? The road less travelled is still leading me towards a glorious path of never ending discoveries about my strengths, challenges, and much education needed within our very own community. As an Academic Advisor at a local university that sits in the heart of a military community, I have been blessed with the opportunity of meeting various types of people with varying degrees of higher education. I'm talking about men/women who've served in war, acquired master's and doctoral degrees; acquired prestigious jobs, survived abusive relationships, or are faced with single parenthood; yet it astounds me how uneducated people are about themselves.

I've had many encounters this month already with many people wanting to know all about Sisterlocks. I must have given Elaine's phone number out to four people in one week! I don't know about any of my fellow SL family members, but I've noticed that I get the most compliments precisely at the time when I am due for a retightening! One gentleman asked, "how long does it take to put your holding gels and creams in your hair?" My reply, "huh?" He repeated himself and added, "It takes me 45 mintues to put my gels and creams in"! Shaking my head, I stopped him before he could painstakingly agonize me further...I briefly interrupted by educating him on Sisterlocks/Brotherlocks. The conversation ended with me giving him Elaine's phone number. Another encounter went as follows: "Girl, I am really really thinking about getting SL's, but I just don't know....it's just soooooo permanent and I like changing my hair too much!" I looked at this beautiful and misinformed queen and replied with, "Well sweetie, why didn't you hesitate when you 'permanently' relaxed your hair?" "Isn't that also sooooooo permanent?" Seeing the light bulb come on and clearly out of excuses, this beautiful queen stated, "Yeah, I guess your right....I don't know what it is that I'm so afraid of!" It was as if she wanted me to do something I absolutely refuse to do, "Convince her to get Sisterlocks"! I assured her that the unsettling feeling she's been wrestling with was okay and that it's part of her growth processes. The encounter ended with me leaving her with some food for thought. I asked her to think about whether her concerns, or levels of uncomfortness was due to the inability to "change her hair texture" once locked or "change her hair style"? As many SL family members will tell you; style versatility is unlimited! As wrinkles of wisdom decorated her forehead, I handed her the Sisterlocks web address and Elaine's phone number (for at least the 5th time) before she departed my office. Both encounters took place at my office, and both initially came into my office with their academic concerns (or so they said). These two students reminded me of some of the reasons why I have distinguished myself as an Academic Counselor, and not an Advisor. There is a major difference between the two. Advisors tell people what to do, while counselors empower people by giving them adequate information, and or, resources to make their own informed choices. Anyone in the field of social services will tell you that the "presenting problem" is rarely an isolated event. Meaning, there are many other areas that are interrelated and can affect both your professional and personal life. A student may come into my office on the premises of finding out how many classes they need to complete their degree, or are having conflict with one of their instructors. When truthfully, the source of their problem may stem from them struggling with their identity, personality conflicts, or lack of support at home. There are a number of reasons why someone may end up in my office, especially when their visits are frequent and are not required. I suppose my mother gave me the perfect name: Monica, Latin for advisor/counselor-go figure!

However, because I started this blog on the premises of helping me through the struggles, frustrations and triumphs throughout my hair journey, I'll try to focus on topical conversations and thoughts related to hair. The key word being "try" (smile). Many of us know that we do not live in a vacuum, and thus, although I'd love nothing more than to just talk about hair; there are many interrelating factors that could affect thoughts and feelings about hair.

April 14, 2008 is my third year anniversary/birthday, and thus, I will discuss interesting three's. Let's have some fun:

3 Things About Me You Probably Never Knew:

1. 
   
   I used to weigh over 200 lbs (before kids), and shamefully, I must admit that I don't exercise and I have a poor diet...but will start on Monday (smile)!


2. 
   
   I always wanted to be a singer or model when I was a child (who hasn't, right?)


3. 
   
   My eyebrows have almost completely thinned out...I have permanent make-up (eye-liner and eyebrows)...and thank God for Mary Kay Cosmetics to conceal signs of aging (smile)!

3 Things About My Hair You Probably Never Knew:

1. 
   
   I have no gray hair (yet)


2. 
   
   Even after 3 years, some of my hair is not locked yet


3. 
   
   I will probably never take the retightening class because I have Carpal Tunnel, which may prevent me from completing my entire head
   

3 Pet Peeves:

1. 
   
   Crowded places


2. 
   
   Disorganization


3. 
   
   When people dissect me and presume that I am mixed with another race. For example, I often hear..."anyone can tell you're mixed with something because of your nose...it's not a typical black nose" or "your hair isn't nappy like ours" or "you look white; look at your skin complexion" or "you can't be all black because black people can't grow long hair"! It drives me insane!

While it's true that I am technically 25% white (grandfather was white), in my opinion, I am mixed like most other African Americans in this country! I was raised in the African American culture, and therefore, that is the race I identify with.

Before closing I'll offer my words of wisdom for those people still contemplating on whether or not to lock their hair.....The answer you're seeking can only come from "you"! Whether you decide to go natural, get Sisterlocks or Traditional Locks, it's clearly a personal choice. You have to embrace and accept yourself for who you are...today, not who you used to be or who you're going to be! Hair does not "make" you, "you" make hair! It is not about hair my lovlies, it has always been about attitude and belief in yourself. Guess what? Having long or straight hair will not guarantee you a job, or the ability to keep a man. A man will leave you and your long/straight hair for a bald-headed woman who knows herself and is comfortable with herself! Deciding to change (be it your hair or bad habits) is an internal process that is reflected externally. Start with loving and sharing the uniqueness you possess! How selfish of us not to share the knowledge we acquire or our special god-given gifts. A good friend of mine was reminded of this one day while visiting a cemetary. As she carefully walked the graveyard and viewed the various headstones, an angel spoke to her and said, "My child do you see all of the people that rest here?" "Think of all of the words not spoken and never to be heard; think of all the knowledge acquired and never to be shared!" The angel begged her not to follow suit, and be the voice of knowledge. She was so inspired by that experience that she is currently writing a book to help empower women! My point is, when you do not share "you and your experiences" however minuscule they may seem; you have misunderstood your purpose here on earth! We are all interrelated and interconnected, and purposely so!

First Locked-Give Me My Free Repost!!

Single Strand Twists

Day After SLs 14 April 2005

I was rummaging through my old cyber-attic and came across these old pics and decided to repost them and this blog entry for several reasons...my upcoming 3rd year SL birthday is near, and I wanted to once again, visually step back and see my progress...stay posted, I'm due for a retightening and color this weekend and I will post my 3rd birthday pics as soon as possible.

8 Months (Natural)

2/5/2005

I know it's been a while, but now that Christmas holidays have passed, things are settling back into "norm". I can't post any pics because my digital camera is broken. Currently, I am wearing micro braids that were put in around mid-December. When I measured my hair last month, it measured around 3-3.5 inches in the back. I'm sure it's a little longer at the crown. My edges are still very fine and easy to break, so my stylist is being extra careful not to braid too tight. She's awesome! I've been trying to convince her to take the Sisterlock's training course, but I don't think she's interested, as she is wearing traditional locks.

I have some great news; I made my initial consultation appointment for my SL's on March 12th with a consultant named Elaine Hill in Dallas. I plan on starting the journey in April. I was going to go with a guy named Greg Day but I've been getting the feeling that he really doesn't want to do it. I contacted him earlier this week to try to set up my consultation appointment; in addition, I informed him that I was wearing micros. He immediately told me to take the micro braids out because they damage the hair shaft; and thus, make for weaker SL's! Needless to say I was shocked. You would think that daily stress and manipulation would be more damaging than micro braids. I could see if I used synthetic hair, which contains fibers that cut/damage human hair, but everyone knows with micros, human hair is used! In search for some guidance, I went to my online SL group to see if anyone else knew about this so-called damage to the hair shaft. Two people responded. One female also said she was sporting micro braids until she grew out adequate length and the other was a male who pretty much said that it sounded like the consultant didn't know much about natural hair! He also suggested I search for other consultants. This is how I ended up making the appointment with Elaine.

The consultation fee is $25.00. It should take me about 2-3 hours to get to her shop. The way I see it, it'll be like taking a mini-vacation. By the time I lock, my hair should be around 4-5 inches. I'll probably go through one more set of micros before taking them out.I mentioned to my spouse about getting SL's, and of course, he translated it to "dredlocks". I tried my best to explain the difference to him, and his response was, "I don't think you want to do that!" When I told him it was a way to wear my hair chemical-free and still be able to take advantage of different hairstyles he responded, "Your hair ain't that bad, you don't need to put in chemicals anyway!" Nothing burns me more than to hear people refer to hair as "good" or "bad", as if it is alive and has behavior issues! People, my beautiful black people, news flash "HAIR IS DEAD"! Of course, that's with the exception of the root. Sensing I was defeated, I ended the conversation with, "I'll tell you more about it when you come back from Iraq!"

14 April 2005-Give Me My Free!!

Well, I finally did it. It took 11.5 hours to lock my 4.5 inches of hair. I'm still floating on cloud nine. I couldn't believe how thick my hair was and how little scalp actually shows through! Most people hardly notice it, and I would imagine that's because of the short length—give me a couple of years and they'll be all over me. My husband and children love it, and so do my co-workers. My consultant told me to do absolutely nothing to do for the next few weeks, no oils, no washing—nothing! If it begins to itch, she told me to spray it with distilled water; add Sea Breeze if it gets out of control (itching). I have to go back in two weeks so she can show me how to carefully wash it to avoid slippage. After that, I only have to go back every 4-6 weeks for retightenings. I'll definitely keep you posted on my progress.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day! Yeah okay...

Wow! I can't believe lover's day is already upon us. Personally, I think Valentine's Day commercialism is highly overrated! No, I'm not hating or upset because I don't have a man-- because actually I do . It's just that the older I get, the more my eyes have opened up to the reality of my surroundings. Why do we let society dictate to us when, where, and how we should celebrate our love with our significant others? When you're with the right person, Valentine's is not just a single day; it's every day that you spend with that person!

Men/women buy into the hype of having to get their loved one flowers that will die, candy that may go to the hips, or a piece of jewelry that is often overpriced and loses it's value as soon as you wrap it up in the box! All of this to show how much they care....I think not!

So many people go out and purchase gifted items that meant nothing to them the day before Valentine's Day and will mean nothing to them the day after-lol! What is really needed for Valentine's Day (every day for that matter) cannot be given by a man or woman! Unconditional love and pure forgiveness for our mishaps and wrongdoings! Simply put-God's love. At any rate, for those who enjoy the commercialism of Valentine's Day -may you enjoy your 24 hours.

Happy Holidays!!

Above is my rendition of Mrs. Claus (smile)! I've been locked now for 2 years and 8 months and the journey has yet ceased to amaze me! You can faintly see my two-week old twist-out style in the pics. Also, you will note that my dark brown-almost black hair dye that I had done a few months ago lost its battle (smile).

Let's see...this month....aaahh, December, the month full of vicarious joy and love ALONE I have been stopped many many times and asked the same FOUR questions:

1. Is that your real hair?
2. Are those "twisties"?
3. Who does your hair?
4. If you wanted to change your 'hairstyle', you would have to cut them off, huh?

The conversation generally ends with, "I really like those a lot; it's exactly what I'm looking to do with my hair but I like to change my hair too much!" After hearing those same questions repeatedly and my efforts to educate those inquiring minds; I relentlessly give in and refer them to the Sisterlocks web site and internally shake my head.....boy, will we ever stop being a slave to all of that negative rhetoric, false beliefs, and misinformation about our beautiful nappy hair? In the meantime, to all of my fellow bloggers...Season Greetings and I hope 2008 will be you much love, peace, and joy!

Monica

Lordy Lordy Look Who's 40!

Can you believe I made it Over the Hill October 5th? Where did the time go? Well I must say it looks a lot better on this side of the hill! My oldest left for the Marines last month and is now realizing the depth of parental guidance and sheltering (smile). One down and three more to go....smile!

2.5 Years Locked

Fortunately, I managed to make it over the hill without any traces of gray hair! What you will notice, however, is that I dyed my hair back to its original dark brown color. You can see the light brown color in the pic on the left. My hair almost looks black in the pic on the right. It was quite a shock when I first did it. I looked so pale, but in time, I've managed to appreciate why God blessed me with my dark brown hair color.

Since I last posted, I've experimented with various styles. I even curled my hair with a hot curling iron! I suppose I was missing the relaxed hair for a bit--crazy, huh? My hair looked flat and stringy....needless to say, I didn't like the look and I have no plans to abuse my hair again. In the end it only helped to solidify my reasoning for continuing on my natural hair and locking journey! In the meanwhile, I'm content with roller setting my hair. At night I'm still sleeping in my lock scrunchie (i.e., lock sock) from http://www.lockscrunchie.com/ . I think I have one in every color and pattern (smile).

17 yr old son with hair blown out!

Oh, almost forgot. My second oldest son pictured above is now locked! Woo Hoo! He's a football player, and mom was tired of cornrolling every 2 weeks (smile)! So, when I went for my last retightening I asked Elaine to start traditional locks on his hair. This is our second attempt at locking his hair. A few years ago we tried with the palm rolling method, but because he has loose curl pattern like me; it failed to lock in a sufficient amount of time. Elaine started his locks with a "brother-lock" similiar pattern to reduce slippage. He's extremely happy and so am I!!!

Braid Out--Take Two

<Take Two>

3 Day Old Braid Out

It had dawned on me that I hadn't corn-rowed my hair, or at least, attempted to do so in quite a while. To my surprise and delight, I was able to do it without looking like Scarecrow on the Wizard of Oz (smile). The pics you see posted are 3-day old waves from the corn-rows.

2 Years Sisterlocked

Above Photo: Soft Spiked Curled (2 Days Old)
2 Years...
April 2007

Happy Belated Easter Everyone! Can you believe it actually snowed in Texas? Yes, I mean snow, the white fluffy stuff that makes snowballs! We received close to 3 inches in Killeen! By the end of the week it'll be back up to the 80's! That's the Lone Star state for you. Wow, I can hardly believe two years have gone by already!!! Last month I had Elaine touch up the color, it had been approx. one year since my last coloring. It looks fabulous! Elaine's hands are definitely annointed with God's grace. While browsing through one of the groups I belong to, LocItUp, one of the members was raving on an on about these rollers called, Soft Spike Curlers, and how . Curious, I decided to do some investigation and found that they were founded by Ellen Kelley in 1996, Soft Spikes began after a long search for a better curler for Ellen's Irish dancing daughter, Robin. Soft Spikes generates the best curly hair styles around and is a leader in the area of curly hair products (http://www.softspikecurlers.com/). According to many of its users, the curlers are great for sisterlocks and will give you long lasting curls. Most of the members recommended the original size, as opposed to the larger size curler because it gives a tighter curl. Anyone who knows me, knows that I will try "almost" anything once, so I ordered (3) packs of the original size curlers. What's cool about Soft Spike Curlers is that they come in all colors (i.e., over 60 color combinations)! I currently use the gold Solar curlers, but over time the gold material covering the sponge roller and pipe-cleaner has a tendency to shred. I had previously purchased the Caruso curlers, but the curls do not last long, and because I've been blessed with thick hair, I end up with a lot of body and less curls.

I'm enjoying my much needed break from school; however, I knew I wouldn't rest for too long because I recently applied and was accepted into an alternative teaching certification program. Yes, that would mean back to school once again (smile). The program doesn't begin until June, so I still have some leisure time left. Now that summer is approaching (I think), and I normally sweat very easily, I was thinking of investing in some colorful hair wraps to keep my hair off of my neck. Wow, did I actually say, "keep my hair off of my neck?" Who woulda thunk, huh? Anyway, if anyone can point me in the right direction on where to purchase some really good ones, I'd love to have your input. Thanks to all those who've been supportive in my two-year crawl towards freedom! One Love.

Monica

21 Months

21 of the Most Wonderful Months...

Happy New Year Everyone! I call this shot "diamonds" because of the sparkling effect that bounces off of my necklace. You may not be able to see it in the pics, but my eyes are scarlet red (irritation from navy blue eyeliner). Since my last post so many things have happened. I finally finished my Masters in Counseling and have started the Ph.D program in Psychology; however, after attending school for the last six years straight, I've discovered that I am truly burned out and need to take a "Monica Break". I've acclimated myself so much into the collegiate environment that my personal social skills have weakened, and thus, I'm off to rediscovering me and spending quality time with my four children.

On to my hair....most of it is fully locked, but still the crown remains stubborn for the most part. Overall, I haven't had much slippage in the past several months. My scalp is extremely dry and still flakes, which is expected during these colder months. However, I'm beginning to wonder if my setting lotion is a contributory factor to this condition. I've tried a variety of setting lotion products, but I still end up with "frosted flakes". I've noticed that curling my hair with solar rollers aids in the locking process because I don't play in my hair as often, it keeps the ends from frizzing, and the curls generally last 1-2 weeks if I take special care in tying my hair up at night. So if you see me walking down the street, don't be surprised to see me sporting curls as opposed to flat twists or a straight style.

News flash: This month I am finally able to pull the top half of my hair completely into a pony tail! This is cause for celebration because over time Elaine (my consultant) cut my hair into layers and it proved to be very difficult to pull all the locks together. I can hardly wait for the day when I can pull ALL of my locks into one beautiful pony tail! I would imagine that won't be for another year or so (smile). Oh, I almost forgot, Elaine hot curled my hair during my last retightening. She curled it towards my face, and because it's been cut into layers the hair style created a beautiful silhouette of my face! Unfortunately, it was extremely rainy that day, so the style didn't last too long. I must admit, it's been so long since I've used a curling iron on my hair, I was a little uncomfortable and concerned about potential damage on my natural hair.

Not much else has changed. I'm still doing the single parent thing, as my husband has decided to work another year in Iraq (that's a whole other blog in and of itself). I still religiously take the Super Biotin daily, and occasionally when I remember; women's multivitamin. As part of rediscovering me, I've started exercising--something I've neglected since starting college. I am soooooo out of shape it's pathetic. Those late nights doing homework made it very difficult to get up in the morning to exercise. So, everyone, until next time; thank you for reading, sending me your comments, and sharing this wonderful journey of a lifetime with me!

Eighteen Months

Eighteen Months

The journey has been great so far. Over the past few months I've noticed that I
tend to keep my hands out of my hair when it's curled. And thus, I try to curl it as much as possible. I had another growth spurt over the past two months. Just when I thought my growth spurt was over the spring months, there goes mother nature at its best. Since my last entry I had another birthday.....39 and still getting younger (smile). I actually found a gray hair in my eyebrow...ugghhh!!! What's up with that?

Hot New UpDo!

Hello Everybody! I know I haven't updated in a while--please don't spank me. Whatcha think about my new do? Elaine (my consultant) and I decided to try this new style to help cool me off during these hot summer days. It may be hard to see in the pic but she flat-twisted it all the way around and let the crown "free-fall". I added the hair jewelry for some pizazz.

Wow, I can't believe I'm 15 months old this month (July). How many of us can remember when we were that age? So I guess I'm an official Sisterlock Toddler (smile). Oh, I recently mailed in my application to receive my birth certificate and other SL items. I'll try to do a better job in the future with posting.....still loving my journey!

1 Year Anniversary!

Day After SL'd 4/15/2005

1 Year Locked After Coloring (Below)

Before Coloring

Happy 1 Year Anniversary (April 14)!

I finally made it to one year being SL. I can't believe time has passed so quickly! If you look closely, you can see one color. Elaine (consultant) clipped some more frizzy balls and trimmed some off my mature locks. Notably, I still have some very stubborn locks that just refuse to join in with the rest of the group. Thanks for all those who prayed for my health when I was in the hospital. It was really scary there for a moment. One benefit to being sick/hospital (it seems), my hair hit a growing phase, especially on my right side. So, I gather that my growing season is around the March/April/May timeframe.

11 Month Curl

11 Month Curl

I decided to try something different by curling my hair utilizing those Solar soft rollers. I can definitely see that I'm way past due for coloring. Thus, I plan to celebrate my one year Birthday/Anniversary (April 14, 2006) by having my consultant color my locs. If I look a little pale in the pics it is because I had "female" surgery a week ago and I'm just now starting to move around a little better.

10 Months and Still Traveling..

Pic above was taken at 9 mo SL

I must apologize, these aren't the best photos. It's difficult to see the details of my locs. I have a hair clip on the left side and you cannot see my highlighted ends. I bought a new digital camera, and the golden rule remains the same, "you get what you pay for!" Not to fret, when I take my anniversary pics in two months, I'll be sure to use my Sony digital camera to capture the full effect. I can't believe it's been ten months into my journey. While I admit, there have been some rough periods and frustrations with my hair; overall, I have no regrets and I'm still in love with SL! I think most of my frustrations were due to the expectations I envisioned of my hair at this point in my journey. I envisioned a longer and more even length all around. My sides have grown extremely long, while the back and top seem to be in a resting phase. It makes for difficult styling at times.

For those considering SLs, the best piece of advice I could ever give you is to have "patience". I've discovered that the hair on my sides and crown is resistant to locing! Last month my consultant trimmed the locs in the back and a little on the sides; cutting off the balls at the end of my locs to give it a neater appearance. She stated that because of the "suspect texture" on my crown, she wasn't sure if the crown was ready to be trimmed. As expected, after a few washes, a few locs on the side slipped.

Upon my latest retightening visit I asked Elaine if we could try Dr. Miracle's 2-n-1 shampoo that is supposed to help with dry and itchy scalp. The shampoo contains glycerin, which could impede the locing process on my "resistant" locs. She suggested I wait until my locs are more mature before using that product. To help with my dry and itchy scalp, Elaine did a hot oil treatment before retightening. After retightening, she later massaged a brand (i.e.,Kiehl) oil into my scalp. Elaine recommended that I purchase some tea tree oil to help with the dry scalp. Perhaps it's time I start using the essential fatty acids again.

The following is my current daily vitamin regimen:

Women's multivitamin w/ iron (Vitamin World): 2 tablets
Super Biotin: 10,000 mcg (1,000 mg)
Vitamin C: 500 mg
Retightening Frequency: Every 4-5 weeks

Some of my co-workers asked about me taking the Retightening class so that I didn't have to travel to Dallas once a month. At this point, I have no desire to retighten my own hair. For one, it's thick and I have Carpal Tunnel. Two, having four children, working full time, being a full-time grad student consumes most of my time. My spouse is now retired from the military, but has chosen to return to Iraq; working with a contractor. So, essentially, I'm a single parent of four, on top of my other responsibilities.

Speaking of my spouse....he came home for Christmas and I actually got him to escort me to a retightening session. I was amazed that he had the patience to sit for 2+ hours. When I think about it, in the 18 years we've been together, he's never accompanied me to a beauty salon when I had relaxed hair, let alone sit the entire time while I was getting it done! I think it's safe to say that SLs has converted him (smile)!

Desire of the Woman

"Desire of the Woman"

We are fashioned for intimacy. We long for love and a sense of true caring. Yet, because of the Fall, we are broken people living in a world of broken people. We move toward others, based not so much on what they need, but rather on what we need, endeavoring somehow to slake the hidden thirst deep within our souls.

Our need for relationship is legitimate; it is there by God's design. To have healthy, functional relationships, however, it is essential that we sort out what God, our "Source," intended to be to us.

One of the foundations being exposed today is the "desire of the woman"—the belief that her husband can be her source of life, that he can meet her need for her life, he will "rule" her emotionally. She is "up" if things are going well. If not, she becomes hurt, discouraged, and depressed. Ruled by her husband—her heart, her "center." Having been turned from God to man—she is not able to be the help for him she was created to be. She is drinking from a broken cistern (see Jer. 2:13). She has the right expectation, but the wrong source.

Whatever we think will satisfy our longing will become our god. Satisfaction found in a wrong source, a false god, is always temporary, doomed to failure and disappointment. False gods are addictive because we must come again and again for refilling; what they can give us is never enough. We become slaves to what we think will fill the empty wells inside of us.
God wants us to find our "being" needs in Him; no human can fulfill them. When we find our life in Him, we will discover we can let go of our demands on others. We can then begin to move in genuine relationship with them because they are no longer the source of our identity and security. Until this occurs, real intimacy cannot begin to take place.

When a woman's heart is turned—when she sets her desire back on God—a new freedom comes. The grasping in her voice and her attitude goes. She is able to move into relationship with her husband based on wholeness rather than inappropriate neediness, hurt, and woundedness. She is able to speak into his life with more effectiveness because her worth and identity no longer depend on his response. When the woman stops looking to her husband for the needs he cannot meet, she frees him to meet the ones he can: the need for intimacy and shared responsibility for the marriage and family.

This is a key factor in what God is doing today in the hearts of women around the world. He is turning the centers of women, teaching them to deny themselves, their own strength, and to find their Source in Him. God is teaching them to live by the "tree of life," the life of God in them. He is freeing them from the broken cisterns of their own making and fashioning them anew, restoring the man's help to him.---Jane Hansen

Eve

Eve was the original first lady. She was not only a woman's first experience with God, but God's first experience with a woman. She was the first to delight the Father's heart as only a daughter can. She was the first to grace this Earth with the ways of a woman and the first to encounter the wiles of the devil. She was the first to love a man and the first to mislead one. She was the first to know the love of God and the first to suffer the curse of fallen humanity. She was the one after whom every woman who has ever lived has followed.
You, too, are a daughter of God. You were created and called according to His purpose. He may be calling you, like Eve, to pioneer. His destiny for your life may include some unexplored or unexpected territory. So go boldly after Him. Follow Him with all your heart. And if He asks you to do for Him what has not been done before, remember Eve. She had no mentor, no mother, no older female friend to help her on her way. She had only God; and if you ever find yourself as a first lady, He will be there to help you blaze every trial and break open every new day! --Author Unknown

5 Months Sisterlocked

Happy 1-Year Naptural Anniversary!

June 5, 2005


Wow, I can't believe it's been one year since I did the big chop! It's been an intense journey so far, and I have no regrets whatsoever. Since I got Sisterlocked almost 2 months ago (April 14th), my hair is growing like weeds. I have noticed; however, that my scalp is extremely dry around the hairline. I think it's in part due to the SL starter shampoo. It contains special ingredients to help facilitate the locking process. I've also read from other SL wearer's that their scalp is dry since they began using the shampoo. I spoke with my consultant, Elaine, and she assured me that it would subside in a few months. I did have some slippage, but not enough to cause concern. I waited 5 weeks before my first retightening session and it took 3 hours ($90) for Elaine to retighten my hair! To save money, I wanted to stretch these sessions out to 8 weeks instead of every 4-6 weeks. However, with my growth rate, Elaine recommended that I come in about every 6 weeks for retightening.

A New Style

March 2005
9 Months Natural!

Single Twists

Can you believe how much my hair has grown? It's close to four inches now and I still love it. I had my stylist put in some single twists to help with manageability while I wait to have my SL's put in. Speaking of which, I have my consultation appointment this weekend (March 12th).

My husband is back from Iraq now and his initial reaction to my natural hair was not favorable! I must admit it did hurt my feelings a little bit, but not enough to make me put a relaxer in it. I also had a hair catastrophe a few weeks ago. I tried dying my hair back to its natural color and ended up with black hair! You know how hard it is to lighten hair once it's been dyed black. I had to put in bleach and then follow up with a medium brown tint. Boy was I scared of hair loss! Surprisingly, nothing changed but the hair color, not even my texture. My stylist recommended that I condition, condition, condition, and that's what I'm doing!

Something Different

November 5, 2004
5 Months Natural

Two-week old Braids

I became impatient with what seemed like slow growth of my hair and decided to get it braided. Frustrated with the odd length of my hair, I had begun experimenting with different products, which was not only unhealthy for my hair, but quite expensive. So, I opted for some good ole' single, or "box" braids. It was done on October 23, 2004. I insisted that my braider be extremely gentle around my hairline, as it is known to easily break under stress and manipulation. Ayanna, my braider did an excellent job, and most of all, she listened to my demands for not-so-tight braids around the hairline! It took her about 6 hours to complete my entire head. I expressed to her that my goal was to allow my natural hair to grow in order to start locing. She completely understood because her hair is locked with traditional locs. So, we established a plan of keeping my hair continually braided, with touch-up braids as the new-growth grows out.

I experienced a lot of itching of course, considering that I used 100% Kanekalon hair, and I no-poo'd twice since getting my hair braided, and I've utilized Sea Breeze to help control the itching. My scalp was a little flakey, but I think that was a result from not thoroughly washing out all of the conditioner. I'll have to be more careful. In addition, my braider told me to stay away from lotions and use oils to keep the dirt and lint build-up at a minimum. I did purchase some medicated braid spray, which works well. My hair should reach 3-4 inches by February-March, but I probably won't get Sisterlocked until April or May. My plate is going to be full during those months, and besides, I'd rather wait until the weather warms back up before exposing my scalp. I'm still taking all of those vitamins. I'm thinking about cutting back and just taking the Women's multivitamin and the Hair, Skin & Nails vitamin.

Choice of Freedom

Three and Four Months Natural

Well, I’ve been busy these two months trying to decide what I wanted to do with my hair. After careful research and exploration, I’ve decided to get Sisterlocks http://www.sisterlocks.com/ it’s more than a hairstyle, it’s a lifestyle. Unfortunately, my hair is only about 2 inches now, and the consultant that I plan to go to wants at least 3-4 inches. So, it looks like I’ll have to wait patiently. In the meantime, it gives me the chance to save my money for the process, as it is not cheap. It runs anywhere from $425-550 and up, depending on your length.

The consultant I spoke with works in a shop called Your Best Image Salon and his name is Greg Day. He actually recommended that I stick with a TWA, but I want versatility and the look of relaxed hair without having to use chemicals. I also found a support group called Lock It Up to help me with my new journal http://www.egroups.com/group/lockitup I’ve learned tons of information about my pending “rebirth” and I just cannot wait. I would like to have it done before my husband returns home from Iraq, as I’m sure the price alone would send him through the roof!

I was told by another loctician that my hair has a medium to large curl pattern. I call it a “lazy” curl. I’m a little disappointed because I thought I would have the instant “S-shaped” curls like my 8-year old daughter. The beautician also told me that it may take up to one year being chemical-free before I’d see my true curl pattern. I guess it makes since because I’ve been relaxing for 15 years, so it could take some time to regroup.

The loctician confirmed that it’s very normal to hair several different hair types on your head (I thought I was going crazy). I have S-curls in the back, strays on the side, and cotton puffs in the front. I even have some strands of hair that are 3-4 inches long, while others are only 1 inch. I’m going to wait until January or February before giving Greg another call. In the meantime, I’ll be praying and asking that I have minimum breakage and lots of growth.
I’ve added a multivitamin to my list of vitamins. It’s a Women’s Ultra Multivitamin from GNC. That baby is huge (smile)!

My impatience and frustration is getting the best of me; I've decided to get my hair braided while I wait out the growth process. I have an appointment on 23 October 2004 to get individual braids. Perhaps this will help me to leave my hair alone.